Adobo Chicken

This dish is “the hotness”, a superlative I picked up from the celebrity gossip blog, D-Listed, where it is most frequently applied to Charlize Theron (and very little else). The only thing that kept it from being entirely perfect was that midway through the cooking procedure, my six-year-old son received a visitation from the Muse of Craft, and in his fervor, could not rest until four paper lunch sacks had been fetched from the cabinet over the stove, dislodging the glass coffee pot, which exploded all over the counter while simultaneously sending a Pyrex measuring cup to its death. Also, about three hours after my second heaping helping, I started blowing chow like a freaking firehose, but the forensics team has determined that it was a case of the stomach flu that ate Brooklyn, not salmonella, listeria, or some other delicious food borne bacteria. So eat up, secure in the knowledge that it wasn’t the hotness’s fault.

Adobo Chicken

Scrounge around in the cabinets until you come across the store-brand white vinegar you use for infrequent cleaning and Easter egg dying. Combine:
1/2 cup of that
1/2 cup of soy sauce
3 bay leaves
5 cloves of garlic, minced up pretty
A dozen or so hand-strengthening grinds of pepper
& 8 chicken thighs. (I foraging at Han Ah Reum Market and ran across a big package of boneless thighs - as opposed to Charlize’s thighless bones. I’m so glad they didn’t give me food poisoning because they were so cheap and convenient, I’ll pick me up a package whenever a frozen eel run sends me to 32nd street.)

Dump this gloop into your big non-reactive saucepan (or the tattered remains of your big reactive saucepan) , bring it to a boil, then simmer for half an hour, turning those thighs every so often, to ensure that you won’t be having an audience with King Ralph.

Remove the chicken to a plate.

Strain the cooking liquid over a mixing bowl. My condolences on your Pyrex measuring cup. (The forensics team’s latest findings indicate that the four paper bags that started the lethal chain reaction were not needed for a craft project, but rather, for “boxing gloves” for a couple of pre-dinner rounds, father vs. son. No news on whether the champion retained his belt.)

Wipe out the saucepan better than I did, or better yet, break out a new one, fire it up on high, and add 1 tablespoon of peanut oil (vegetable oil, massage oil, whatever).

When the oil is hot, add the chicken, and fry it up on all sides to give it some nice brown polka dots.)

Add the strained cooking liquid and simmer for five minutes. Serve with rice, and don’t blame the chicken if you start feeling barfy. Forget to take a picture. So? It's for eatin', not for show.



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[Filipino chicken] [chicken recipe] [Charlize Theron] [food poisoning] [Pyrex measuring cup] [the hotness]